No I really can't smell..... Anosmia : The lack of perceiving odors

People always ask the same questions after I tell someone I can’t smell. The questions usually go as follows: “Like you always can’t smell?”, “Can you taste?”, “You must be able to smell really strong things?” The funny thing is people usually don’t ask why I can’t smell. I can’t smell because I have nasal polyps. The technical definition is an abnormal growth from a mucus membrane; they are pretty much like little peeled grape looking things that block my olfaction (smelling) passageway so I can’t smell. They are associated with my good friends; asthma and allergies. Fun facts about myself like this are how I seduce men; “Hey baby, I have abnormal sinuses! Wink” 

I have an abnormal fear of skunks

“You must be able to smell really strong things?” My favorite question… A few years ago, I came home early from work felling a bit under the weather. I let the dogs out for pee; they ran around the yard barking for a bit and came in. I went to my room for a nap with the dogs. They snuggled up next to me and I fell asleep. Four hours later I woke up to my brother screaming bloody murder. “WHAT THE FUCK!!! THE FUCKING HOUSE FUCKKK!” Followed by him dry heaving in the front yard. I thought the house was on fire but no… I had just had a four hour nap with freshly skunked dogs. So no I really can’t smell.

Yup had a nap with they two mutts when they were skunked

I lost my sense of smell when I was 20 it’s not really a bad sense to loose. I work in the hospital. You have to find the silver lining in everything. I mean fuck, not being able to smell is almost a superpower in the hospital, and I really should get a cape. I have been in small rooms where everyone is gagging from something putrid and I don’t have the slightest care. When someone smells like Melena or Pseudomonas (look them up if you don’t know what they are, cuz they are gross and Im not about to explain) people have gone so far to say I’m lucky I cant smell what’s going on in the room.

Taste… My taste buds still work, the best I can describe it is that food is less full but I look for different things in food; texture being one and sensation being the other. Garlic, hot sauce, etc have sensations associated with it them. I still love to eat and bake; it’s just a different experience. I had surgery a few years ago to see if they could fix the problem, but ends up the polyps are very close to brain matter and look a lot like brain matter and since my surgeon decided he didn’t feel like giving me a frontal lobotomy (his words not mine) he didn’t take out the ones that are blocking my olfaction passage. To be honest it doesn’t bother me much, it’s just one more thing on the long list of quirks that makes me who I am.